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Do you even KNOWWW how happy I am?!?!
okay let me explain. oh my god, i totally need a cigarette. ha ha!
So, Christof and I got to hang out tonight and oh my god- I don't think he's mad at me anymore!!!!!!! It was SOOOO good to just like be around him and like know that he WAS worth all my tears!!! <3333333333 LOL! god I f**king love crying.

Tonight I asked him if he wanted to hang out and watch a movie. He said yes and then I told him I would be there at dusk (hee hee! I made some like quirky joke eluding to my vampiricism. i think he liked it! I gotta watch out though because I don't want him to think I'm a freak... orrr, maybe I do ;););)) but THEN, like the worst possible thing that could have happened, did. I forgot I had a freaking meeting to go to at 930!!!! :( I like cried and shit and then decided to man up and call him back. I told him I had to be somewhere at 930 and was expecting like an "Oh, okay. well I've got another date then" and then I'd be like "Okay... maybe see you later sometime?" and he'd be all like "Yeah whatever. you gotta wait in line for this shit." and I woulda like cried and cried and like ate lots of ben and jerrys with my special spoon. but you know what?! he was totally like- well let's hang out before! OMG! OOOOO MMMMM GGGGG. it was so crazy to me. PHEW!

I picked him up and we went and then we got caramel lattes! My treat ;) And then we watched Sleepless in Seattle! More like SLEEPLESS WHILE THINKING OF CHRISTOF! (^~^)--hee hee hee!

It was so much fun. We like laughed at a lot of the same parts together. It's like when you're watching a movie and you're like totally digging it and someone else in the room is also totally digging it and then like you realize how crazy it is that someone else is digging it at the same time as you in the same digging room in the same digging cave while digging the same gold. ut oh, i think i just digressed!!! haha. i'm like so embarassed... NOT!

So, I mean I guess we didn't talk much about anything, but it was definitely great seeing him. I missed him a lot and now I like totally don't. (Just kidding!!!!)

I'm going to go draw pictures of him in my notebook instead of doing homework now! haha, I'M SUCH A ROBOTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT. ha! totally kidding.

i'm in f**king puppy love.

LOVEY-DOVEYS FROM BRETHREN-HEAVEN!

I really miss him.
I can't Stand
Not being around him.
He's my only one.
him.
he is, right there-
him.

-a poem I made up last night when I was tossing and turning trying to get to sleep. :((((

So, it's been a while since I last wrote to you. Don't worry, you're still my #1 Bitch, livejournal!!!! (mid-air hand slap)

Now let's get right to it- let's talk about the boy. Christof and I have been drifting apart. It used to be so good, like we were totally connecting on a level no one else could- like we would ALWAYS finish each other's sentences, even each other's lunches (heehee). He's been gone a lot and I've been lonely, like a stray cat or whatever (ew, gross. am I really like one of those?!?! I'm totally going to brush my teeth THIS SECOND!).

All i want is someone to hold me and carry me so I don't like have to ever be on my feet, and I just don't think we're on the same page anymore. He'll only hold my dropped cigarettes that he claims are still useful (we fight about it allll the time :(((), even though I purposely drop them in mounds of dog poop. I don't even know why I'm doing that, am I going crazy?!?! Maybe I just want attention from him. I just want him to think I'm funny. I want to be his funny shooting star.

The other night we like totally made out a couple times during a game of spin the bottle. I think he like totally purposely ate like ew- the GROSSEST FISH SANDWICH BEFORE!!!! because it just wasn't pleasant to smell and taste (YUCK!). I mean, I really wanted to like it, but like, all I could think about is- ew, he must have just eaten some like Z-Quality rainbow fish from Stewart Park!!
Why didn't he like put a piece of gum in his mouth? He did before everyone else he kissed during the game that night. He only shoved that gross sandwich (it still had a tail sticking out of the bread!! :[) in his mouth, right before he knew he had to kiss me. Then he shoved his tongue down my throat for a while and it was like total dirty river fish pollution squirms, population ONE- one being him.

I hope we can talk about this sometime. I really miss having him around. I know he misses me too. Unless there's just some like creepy weirdo that writes CW+HH all over my car in window marker every day after I come home and erase it. uhh, WEIRD.
I just want him to want me, that's all! What the hell! LIFE COULD BE SOOOOOOOO EASY! I actually hope he finds this somehow and like reads it and shit but like doesnt let me know that he's read this because he'd be too embarassed. But then, he'll actually know how I'm feeling, and how hurt I am about his practical jokes with our love, and maybe he'll try to come talk with me. All i need is to be asked out on a date and then I can concentrate on school again! :DDDD.

okay well, I LOVE YOU livejournal. youre like totally my sole outlet for ALL THE CRAZY MAD SHIT I GO THROUGH IN THIS WORLD! Hopefully I'll have better news to write about soon for you... depending on you-know-who!


SMOOCHES, KISSES; SECRET NIGHT-SKY WISHES!
~me

Yesterday I saw Christof soooo many times. (^-^)!!!!

I came over to his house and he totally gave me one of his jimmy dean croissant breakfast sandwiches. what a hoot!

He took a nap, I just played video games beside him.
and watched him sleep.
He looked so pzful... I wonder if he was dreaming about me!!!

I let him play a game of my pokemon snap but he didnt seem to like it...
maybe he doesnt like me!!!! :(:(

But then, later that night I saw him at Jack's party! He was totally drinking steel reserves, they were HUGE CANS!

We had some cigarettes and you know chilled- then it was TACO BELL TIME!!!!

I can remember what he got so well... like, I think about it everytime I think about TB!
I got to order for him too ;)

He got some Fiesta Potatoes without sour cream... what a nut! AND a crunchy taco- he's never had one before!!!!!!

When we got back to Jack's, I told him me NEEEEDED to try my nacho cheese chalupa. Boy did he love it! I wonder if he loves me.

or just the chalupa.

Then he totally asked me to turn off my ipod in the car because he didnt know how to do it... I was like what? seriously? he got really mad or something... i dont know. He ran away really fast and I just got a little angry :(((( I hope he never runs away from me ever again.

I told him I'd teach him how to use my ipod sometime. (I think that means another date!)

I want to build him a taco bell fortress so he never leaves me. I want to build him a cigarette tower so he'll NEVER have to roll those grossy oldies!!! EWWWW

I miss him already. I hope I see him like you know, everyday.

OMG! If youre reading this, PLEASE JUST LIKE DONT TELL HIM ABOUT THIS!!!!!

I'm not worried. I got the shit best friends!! best shitty friends!! err best friends that are the shit!